Vigwattif is a god.

It takes the form of a large, loving jaguar.

Vigwattif created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigwattif, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vigwattif, it will turn you into a duck.

Vigwattif's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Vigwattif's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not prepare garlic while wearing tights.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.