Ceptafdam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, amazing tapir.

Ceptafdam created the Sunflower Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ceptafdam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ceptafdam, he will turn you into a mouse.

Ceptafdam's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Ceptafdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near manatees.

2. Always help sick frogs.

3. Do not eat apples.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.