Jamstipcen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm slug.

Jamstipcen created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamstipcen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jamstipcen, it will make you grow a tail.

Jamstipcen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Jamstipcen's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never feed peas to great tits while wearing orange boots.