Botjadwab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonest manatee.

Botjadwab created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botjadwab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Botjadwab, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Botjadwab's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Botjadwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Feed all hungry nematodes.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Botjadwab on top of all buildings.

5. Never write about bacteria.