Jadfliglarpgan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, proud swan.

Jadfliglarpgan created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadfliglarpgan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jadfliglarpgan, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jadfliglarpgan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Jadfliglarpgan's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. You must love Jadfliglarpgan.

5. Put Jadfliglarpgan first in all things.