Sasjatlip is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, dishonest fairy.

Sasjatlip created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasjatlip, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sasjatlip, it will turn you into a frog.

Sasjatlip's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Sasjatlip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Sasjatlip loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near cats while wearing blue hats and balancing six nickel spheres on your feet.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.