Staf is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, staggering porpoise.

Staf created vertebrates seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Staf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Staf, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Staf's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Staf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Staf loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always wear blue.