Diddimkaptad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless skunk.

Diddimkaptad created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Diddimkaptad, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Diddimkaptad, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Diddimkaptad's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Diddimkaptad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Diddimkaptad on top of important buildings.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Do not step barefoot upon fawn earth.