Minzagkik is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, conceited tortoise.

Minzagkik created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minzagkik, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Minzagkik, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Minzagkik's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Minzagkik's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not keep three mites in a large pit.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.