Xenhatcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, loving tapir.

Xenhatcuss created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenhatcuss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xenhatcuss, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Xenhatcuss' most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Xenhatcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Xenhatcuss in the centre of the settlement.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never approach forests carrying wood.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.