Fontettijin is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, effective dog.

Fontettijin created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fontettijin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fontettijin, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fontettijin's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Fontettijin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not chop down trees.