Matstafweg is a god.
She takes the form of an exceedingly large, charitable
salamander.
Matstafweg created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Matstafweg, she will look after you all your life.
If you do not believe in
Matstafweg, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.
Matstafweg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.
Matstafweg's Holy Commandments1. Never talk about fire.
2. Never write about dark matter.
3. Always look after injured turtles.
4. Always wear blue.
5. Worship no other gods but Matstafweg.