Tarxemjen is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, astonishing mole.

Tarxemjen created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tarxemjen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarxemjen, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tarxemjen's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tarxemjen's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tarxemjen.

2. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Do not eat limes.