Lik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, intelligent manatee.

Lik created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lik, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lik, he will turn you into a dog.

Lik's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never feed apples to capybaras while wearing trousers.

3. Feed all hungry great tits.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.