Ortnartmin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, two-faced scorpion.

Ortnartmin created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Ortnartmin, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ortnartmin, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ortnartmin's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Ortnartmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Ortnartmin loves whales, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect three silicon sculptures of Ortnartmin on top of important buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not cook food in pots.