Rillsagpitmin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, irritating cat.

Rillsagpitmin created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillsagpitmin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rillsagpitmin, he will remove you from existence.

Rillsagpitmin's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Rillsagpitmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill voles.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near horses while wearing red dresses and balancing seven nickel spheres on your back.

4. You must love Rillsagpitmin.

5. You must never eat grapes.