Veendubboss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, generous weasel.

Veendubboss created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Veendubboss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Veendubboss, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Veendubboss' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Veendubboss' Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Veendubboss must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never eat gooseberries.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.