Cissganpang is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, slow lion.

Cissganpang created the Andromeda Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissganpang, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cissganpang, she will refuse to believe in you.

Cissganpang's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Cissganpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must love Cissganpang.