Labbusman is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, fussy dryad.

Labbusman created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labbusman, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Labbusman, he will turn you into a worm.

Labbusman's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Labbusman's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about spacetime near ants while wearing green shorts and balancing six gold spheres on your arms.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never sit near birds.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.