Hudlanpop is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, almighty mole.

Hudlanpop created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hudlanpop, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hudlanpop, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hudlanpop's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hudlanpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat rice.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Do not eat parsnips.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hudlanpop.