Shavrotgut is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish swallow.

Shavrotgut created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Shavrotgut, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Shavrotgut, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Shavrotgut's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Shavrotgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt seals.

2. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never feed lots of coconuts to ducks while wearing green corsets.

5. Do not drink alcohol.