Jammutjin is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unsympathetic dugong.

Jammutjin created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jammutjin, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jammutjin, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jammutjin's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Jammutjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Hide if seven monkeys approach from the north.

4. Never run in the presence of squirrels.

5. Do not prepare lentils while wearing corsets.