Yatcibfly Poptitrutfunvonklimvenfut is a god.

He takes the form of a small, compassionate crocodile.

Yatcibfly Poptitrutfunvonklimvenfut created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatcibfly Poptitrutfunvonklimvenfut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yatcibfly Poptitrutfunvonklimvenfut, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yatcibfly Poptitrutfunvonklimvenfut's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Yatcibfly Poptitrutfunvonklimvenfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.