Kikwapvogjarnlab is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, moody coyote.

Kikwapvogjarnlab created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikwapvogjarnlab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kikwapvogjarnlab, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Kikwapvogjarnlab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Kikwapvogjarnlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help shrews.

2. Never talk about voles.

3. Do not hurt badgers.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Never paint your chest fawn.