Gedwodzog Apportnadrowyimmab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient narwhal.

Gedwodzog Apportnadrowyimmab created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gedwodzog Apportnadrowyimmab, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gedwodzog Apportnadrowyimmab, it will turn you into a mole.

Gedwodzog Apportnadrowyimmab's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Gedwodzog Apportnadrowyimmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always wear purple.