Jonzagdut is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, proud pig.

Jonzagdut created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonzagdut, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jonzagdut, she will come to you in dreams.

Jonzagdut's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jonzagdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt great tits.

2. Never paint your arms gray.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not kill pigs.

5. Never write about galaxies.