Carcatbonkaffun is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, tranquil chicken.

Carcatbonkaffun created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carcatbonkaffun, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Carcatbonkaffun, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Carcatbonkaffun's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Carcatbonkaffun's Holy Commandments

1. Carcatbonkaffun loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.