Tarphomkenbom is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, intelligent dove.

Tarphomkenbom created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Tarphomkenbom, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarphomkenbom, it will turn you into a duck.

Tarphomkenbom's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tarphomkenbom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to music.