Pintonkrig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, egotistical dryad.

Pintonkrig created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pintonkrig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pintonkrig, she will turn you into a plant.

Pintonkrig's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Pintonkrig's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Pintonkrig.

2. Never allow ducks to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Always help dogs in need.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near birds while wearing cyan skirts and balancing eight lead spheres on your feet.

5. Never eat green fruit.