Stipzigfid is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, thoughtless snail.

Stipzigfid created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stipzigfid, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stipzigfid, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Stipzigfid's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Stipzigfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle copper while unclean.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Run away if seven moths approach from the east.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.