Nadwiphim is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, wise lizard.

Nadwiphim created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Nadwiphim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nadwiphim, she will turn you into a rat.

Nadwiphim's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Nadwiphim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Never chant near rats.

3. Erect eight copper sculptures of Nadwiphim on top of important buildings.

4. Hide if five otters approach from the north.

5. Run away if four ants approach from the west.