Zogontloop is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, able turtle.

Zogontloop created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogontloop, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zogontloop, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Zogontloop's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Zogontloop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never feed lots of lentils to ducks while wearing orange hats.

3. Run away if seven mites approach from the north.

4. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.