Nabdusstap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, almighty snail.

Nabdusstap created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nabdusstap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nabdusstap, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Nabdusstap's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Nabdusstap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Hide if three bats approach from the east.