Nullakkar is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, stupid parrot.

Nullakkar created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nullakkar, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nullakkar, she will turn you into a mouse.

Nullakkar's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Nullakkar's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nullakkar.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. You must love Nullakkar.