Zimgemzeddad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless centipede.

Zimgemzeddad created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimgemzeddad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zimgemzeddad, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Zimgemzeddad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Zimgemzeddad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Always help seals.

4. Never paint your face indigo.

5. Run away if five snails approach from the north.