Bonzakmadcad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unfair gerbil.

Bonzakmadcad created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonzakmadcad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bonzakmadcad, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bonzakmadcad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bonzakmadcad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think ill of sick pigs.

3. Feed all hungry capybaras.

4. Do not keep five hamsters in a large pit.

5. Always help bats in need.