Wikstikvad is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, stupid crane.

Wikstikvad created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikstikvad, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wikstikvad, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wikstikvad's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Wikstikvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not speak about cucumbers.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wikstikvad.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Never think about archaea.