Kikarmdossgun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring swallow.

Kikarmdossgun created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Kikarmdossgun, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kikarmdossgun, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kikarmdossgun's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Kikarmdossgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Kikarmdossgun in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.