Popjinzak is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, quiet dugong.

Popjinzak created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Popjinzak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Popjinzak, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Popjinzak's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Popjinzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Never feed cucumbers to shrews while wearing dresses.

3. Never sprint in the presence of otters.

4. Always look after injured nematodes.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.