Bepbigtimspag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, pitiless porpoise.

Bepbigtimspag created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepbigtimspag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bepbigtimspag, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bepbigtimspag's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bepbigtimspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to rats while wearing black ear rings.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Never mention snails.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.