Daggarbap Gemfabbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, tranquil tapir.

Daggarbap Gemfabbonk created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Daggarbap Gemfabbonk, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Daggarbap Gemfabbonk, it will turn you into a dog.

Daggarbap Gemfabbonk's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Daggarbap Gemfabbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Daggarbap Gemfabbonk.

2. Never mention cats.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not make images of living things.