Zankimcad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, deceitful clam.

Zankimcad created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zankimcad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zankimcad, she will be mildly annoyed.

Zankimcad's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Zankimcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese in need.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Zankimcad loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near tortoises while wearing orange shorts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your chest.