Gambogneglabzimcapjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, grumpy badger.

Gambogneglabzimcapjarn created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gambogneglabzimcapjarn, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gambogneglabzimcapjarn, it will throw large rocks at you.

Gambogneglabzimcapjarn's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gambogneglabzimcapjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always share cucumbers with strangers, but never with mites.

2. Run away from pink grasshopers, for they are unholy.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Do not fashion tools from gold.

5. Never hurt manatees.