Bemnanrip is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, witty fly.

Bemnanrip created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemnanrip, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bemnanrip, she will manifest in front of you.

Bemnanrip's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bemnanrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide if nine geese approach from the east.

4. Bemnanrip loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

5. Never leap in holy places.