Catshavtif is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unthoughtful bat.

Catshavtif created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catshavtif, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Catshavtif, he will torture you forever.

Catshavtif's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Catshavtif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Catshavtif on top of all buildings.

2. Hide if eight monkeys approach from the east.

3. Always help sick nematodes.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Erect a giant green sculpture of Catshavtif in the centre of the settlement.