Jarnlimnig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent coyote.

Jarnlimnig created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnlimnig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jarnlimnig, she will not care.

Jarnlimnig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Jarnlimnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from wood.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always remove hats before touching tin.