Bemnibcem Gudcibjip is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, two-faced porpoise.

Bemnibcem Gudcibjip created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemnibcem Gudcibjip, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bemnibcem Gudcibjip, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bemnibcem Gudcibjip's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bemnibcem Gudcibjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Always obey Bemnibcem Gudcibjip's priests.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.