Jinbarnbim is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful warg.

Jinbarnbim created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinbarnbim, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jinbarnbim, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jinbarnbim's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Jinbarnbim's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never think about optics near manatees while wearing gray stockings and balancing eight titanium spheres on your neck.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. You must love Jinbarnbim.

5. Fast once a month.