Sisbasslam is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited lobster.

Sisbasslam created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisbasslam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sisbasslam, she will not care.

Sisbasslam's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Sisbasslam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sisbasslam.

3. Never gather four frogs near wells.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Never eat rice on fasting days.