Midbatlanviljenken is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, passionate pig.

Midbatlanviljenken created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Midbatlanviljenken, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Midbatlanviljenken, she will not invite you to parties.

Midbatlanviljenken's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Midbatlanviljenken's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Never sit near snails.

3. Always help sick geese.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Never look in ponds.