Nulltargfet Mumyarpmum Kabnibnab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, happy elephant.

Nulltargfet Mumyarpmum Kabnibnab created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulltargfet Mumyarpmum Kabnibnab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nulltargfet Mumyarpmum Kabnibnab, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nulltargfet Mumyarpmum Kabnibnab's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nulltargfet Mumyarpmum Kabnibnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nulltargfet Mumyarpmum Kabnibnab.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never hurt rats.