Larpflisvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, temperamental faun.

Larpflisvin created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpflisvin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Larpflisvin, he will be very unhappy.

Larpflisvin's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Larpflisvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Badgers are not to be trusted.

4. Never feed bananas to mice while wearing boots.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.