Ceppakdum is a god.

She takes the form of a large, dishonest tapir.

Ceppakdum created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ceppakdum, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ceppakdum, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ceppakdum's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Ceppakdum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not take Ceppakdum's name in vain.

3. Do not wear green clothing.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Always look after injured whales.