Tanwabwad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, happy newt.

Tanwabwad created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tanwabwad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tanwabwad, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tanwabwad's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tanwabwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight birds in a large pit.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Do not kill manatees.

4. Never laugh in the presence of moths.

5. Always obey Tanwabwad's priests.